Cool, website, Doug! I was especially impressed by all the great feedback! Oh, yeah, where's Waldo? Watching your website and filing lawsuits!
*Note from DouG* Thanks....actually Deanna did all those examples of feedback (excluding the last one......that was real*).
*real= something that I imagined or dreamed about
I am Jealous of your brilliance! We are all going to miss the del Sol Dad
*DouG* This
coming from the smartest man I have ever/will ever meet is the utmost of
compliments!! Thank you so much.
Doug, Looked at your car pictures, and browsed around your site for any new changes. I would write more but with this guy staring at me I can't think of another thing to say
*Note from DouG* Understandable. Dad has a tendency to read over people's shoulders, just ignore him.
An excellent view into the world of Doug. Man, why is your friends page so small? I think you're selling yourself short on that one.
*Note from DouG* thanks, I hope to order some more on ebay.com and update them shortly. Just kidding, actually, I am limited by the pictures that I have on my hard drive.
Was that a haiku to doughnuts? I find that genuinely disturbing. But I don't want to make this a negative comment so I will suffice to say 2 things. First, you don't look like a "Survivor" contestant as they turn out very thin. And secondly, as per your suggestion, I prepared myself for disappointment and was glad to see that my preparations were not in vain.
*Note from DouG* James Slusher will no longer be included in my "friends" section with the next update of the site as initially planned.
Dude... Ummm...Hilarious !!! :) But I now have confirmation... YOU SCARE THE #*&@ OUTTA ME !!!!
*DouG's mental note* be more selective of who I share my URL with ;)
Hey, I checked this out for the first time yesturday and was visitor #74. I didn't get to see the whole thing though, so I came back today and saw I was #105. You got lots of friends!
*DouG* Thanks for stopping by Adam. Truth-be-known, when I am bored I just repeatedly click "reload" over and over again to create the perception that I have lots of visitors/friends.....sadly, it's an elaborate deception
This is really great, you are a true genius, and I hope those eyes are not a hidden camera, or are they????
*DouG* Thanks for calling me a 'genius'......pssst......as promised, I will give you the $5 next time I see you.
Oh, that poor Del Sol! You forgot to mention that your new vehicle is a "family car" and has plenty of room for car seats and a stroller! I can write whatever I want in this little box, cause you'll delete it anyway, so..."tonight" was mispelled on one of your car pages. I truly enjoyed remininscing about the Scirroco's journey from boring to fabulous. Did you intend to use a Dalmatian joke? You said there were "101" explanations for what happened to the car...as in "101 Dalmatians." So, if you didn't intend to poke fun at the people who thought the car was painted like a dalmatian, I will do it for you. OK, one more LITTLE complaint...why am I only on the family page and not on the friends page??? What are you saying, exactly? I mean, how cruel is that?
*DouG* I didnt intend to use '101' as a Dalmatian reference, but perhaps it was a 'Freudian slip' of sorts. In return, did you mean to misspell "misspelled"??? Besides, I corrected where I misspelled "tonight", but your poor little "mispelled" is at my mercy muhahahah. Why aren't you on the "friends" page also? I could have sworn I fielded this topic with the first line of my friends page by saying: "Friends are very important to me also, because unlike family, you actually get to pick and choose your friends." or should I just diplomatically say 'even if Deanna wasn't family, I would still value her greatly as a close friend *hug*.
Your Brother David referred me to your site. Me and my wife Ashleigh laughed through the whole page from one section to the other. We just wanted to say that your page is brilliant and you did a good job. I don't think that I have ever laughed at a page so hard. Thanks (jacen2580@yahoo.com)
*DouG*
I am so glad you enjoyed my site.
The fact that I have made you both laugh has made it the 'hard work' worth it.
Thanks
What up Doug?? Haven't seen you in a while. Fletch gave me the site!! It's a good site not all websites make me shoot Dr. Pepper out of my nose and all over my computer. Anywho, I'll See ya around.Oh yeah my sitehttp://hometown.aol.com/prodeathraver13/myhomepage/index.html stop by!! Later-Mike
*DouG*
I don't know if you knew this, but
my lifelong goal has always been to make someone shoot Dr. Pepper out of their
nose and all over their computer. That is what I have been attempting to
accomplish all these many years, so I can now die a happy man.
Doug, your site has me laughing my butt off. I can't stop coming back to it every day to see what you've changed, it's great! Oh, and good luck with the new job!
*DouG* Thanks, please enjoy. I figured, if I am not going to be cute, might as well at least try to be funny. Come back as much as you like...it makes less work for me clicking "reload" over and over to simulate popularity of the site.
very funny.......thanks for the smile
*DouG* You're welcome, but are you too ashamed to put your name Cyndi?
Your counter isn't working, ehh? Face is sparky...I'm the first to look at this site. (And if I'm not, please don't burst my bubble.)
*DouG*
Welcome to my site...and yes, you are the first and only person to
visit my site thus far. Oh, those other feedback posts? Um......er......I
did those. Those are all fake. Besides, those people are saying such
kind things, there is no way they are real. (excluding James Slusher that
is still not making the "friends" page anytime soon
)
I like it
*DouG* For those of you who don't know Greg.....which is.....well.....all of you. He is the kind gentleman over at Cox Communications that was trying to help me fix my problem with uploading my site. I think my program is just corrupted, so I am going to try Frontpage 2002 and see if that helps.
Doug just thought I'd let you know I have linked to your site from mine, now you will get a lot of strange people wondering through here. Sorry no Dr. Pepper to shoot out on my computer now. Also, when are you going to update?? Another thing, I think the Scirocco was a much more admirable car than the Del Sol! Anywho I've updated mine so stop in!
*DouG* Yes, I agree that my site needs an update soon, I have been keeping myself very busy lately. As far as linking my site? I think it's fair to say that most the people that stop by this site are pretty strange (having associations with me), so a few more added into the mix sounds great to me. I will be certain to stop by your site very soon......or even right now!
Oh yeah one more thing, yeah you me and the Richmond Drunk Will have to get together. Darn these eyeballs!! As though I'm not paranoid enough with out these things following me around!
*DouG* Yes, yes we should. I am very pleased that the eyeballs are serving their purpose well.
Hey Doug, your site is GRRRREAT! (like the cereal). Although it's a little dark. and the text is huge. and not all the same font. and the pictures aren't that great. and then there's the eyes. But really, is this your first site? Not bad, homie. My wife & I had a lot of laughs. Make more pages and keep in touch!
*DouG* Yes, this is my "first site".....are you hinting that I should keep trying?!?! Haha, I guess I can take some constructive criticisms from a professional web software architect such as yourself (check out his site here......very nicely done *cough*showoff*cough*). As you can see from my friends page, I had to get another friend named "Nate" to help me fill the empty void in my life from leaving you in Alaska. Now, since I couldn't keep the premium model that I was accustom to, I had to get the cheap imported Asian model (which we all know aren't structurally built as well and durable as the American versions, and I think they don't work worth a darn), but how else would I explain that "Nate is my bestest bestest friend" tattoo that I gave myself when I was 11.
This was the funniest **** I have seen in a long time....and I spent last night at Ebaums. Truly though, this is good stuff. I will be passing this along.
*DouG* I assume you are speaking of www.ebaumsworld.com ? Yes, they too have some very humorous material. I was thinking of have a "links page" and include them, but I am entirely too selfish for all of that. I gravely fear someone leaving a comment on Ebaums page saying "This was the funniest **** I have seen in a long time....and I spent last night at DouG's page." I am so greedy, that if you click on the hyperlink above, it just brings you right back to my site. But, thanks for stopping by, and I am glad that you enjoyed it!!!
Thanks for the laughs, Sweetheart. And thanks so much for bringing the garbage can in. Love you much! Mom
*DouG* Anytime. Actually, it works out well for me as well.....seeing how "garbage man" is still the reigning leader in the vote for what I should be when I grow up. I guess I need all the practice I can get.
#1: I loved the Einstein quote about imagination being more important than knowledge. #2: Why would a man's man have Crayola Crayons in his workspace? Next time, use feces and blood to create your art. #3: I got your binary joke.
*DouG* Yes, I think that Einstein quote fits me very well. Actually the full quote is:
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein
Oh, and the Crayolas were for my dining pleasure.....dip them in paste and they are delicious!!!
By the way, in case anyone has read the post from Doug's Mom... He does NOT live with his Mommy, he just brought in her garbage while he was stealing some stuff from her house. (Was that manly enough, Doug?)
*DouG* Um, er, I am not really sure what
happened to your 32" TV, mom....have you checked your pockets?!?!
This website is solely for amusement purposes, and
can NOT be used in a Court of Law.
it was ok in fact i love it bcause of your funnyness
*DouG* Thanks Jason, that's what I am here for. Silly question, but do I know you? If not, I have recently lowered my expectation of "friends" and now will accept one e-mail and/or phone call a month to constitute being listed on my "friends" page of my website. This newly lowered guideline is a cheap attempt to have more than three friends listed on my site. So e-mail me a pic, and a little information about yourself, and I will get you added. Thanks again.
I think your page is great though I didn't mean to come across it. I was asked who my role model was, and thanks to you, now I know, my role model is Myself. Thank you much. I think you are a brilliant person.
*DouG* So, are you doing a school project for who your role model is? I ask
because most face-to-face inquiries don't allow for google searches prior to
response. If it is, I am curious how well that goes for you (let me know). One
of three things will happen. Either your teacher will think that you are
creative, imaginative, and/or humorous, or he/she will think you are somewhat
schizophrenic and push toward maybe getting you a court appointed role
model...like Dr. Phil, or the last scenario, your teacher is already familiar
with my site, and understands by taking my idea and picking yourself as your
role model, then you are, in retrospect, really not using your own ideas and
philosophies, but rather using mine, thus defaulting myself as your role
model despite your declaration. In any case, I am glad that you blindly
stumbled across my site, and stop by any time!!!
I always enjoy your website. I am glad I got time to check it out today. I have book marked it so I can refer back to it when I need a laugh. Much love and friendship, Ang
*DouG* You better enjoy the website, seeing how a couple of the pages are derivative from conversations that you and I have had in the past. Being a Bachelor and I Want to be a Redneck were actually cut and paste (with a few modifications) from e-mails that I sent Ang many moons ago. I am hoping to do a few more updates on the site in the near future* so stop back by soon. Thanks again.
near future* = no telling when....my inspiration comes and goes. All the kind feedback people say in my Guestbook is mainly what inspires me the most. Thanks to all (except James Slusher haha)!!
What's wrong with Dr. Phil? I liked your article about Santa. Mark and I both laughed at that.
*DouG* Glad you enjoyed my tainted humor, but who is Dr. Phil?
Are you commenting on my lack of structural disambiguation regarding the preposition 'like' in the sentence fragment"...like Dr. Phil"? Meaning 'like' could be interpreted as Dr. Phil, too, has a court appointed role model?
Not many families, that I know of, will correct one another's grammatical errors. When was the last time that your brother/sister identified that you have not directly linked your 'prepositional phrase' to it's 'compliment' thus creating syntactic ambiguity.
I think your site has changed my life. I have a better understanding of my world because of you. I look forward to your updates to the site. My life has new meaning. I will drop everything in my life and follow your every direction. Lead me O great one.
*DouG* See, now there is some sarcasm hidden in your statement...I can't place exactly where, but I sense that it is hidden in there somewhere. But until I find it, welcome to the unparalleled 'world of DouG'.
John,
is the "all knowing" arsenal of information and knowledge that works with me at
Shaw's. I have learned a lot from him personally, but even in my 'shining
moments', I pale in comparison. We both have a similar dry sense of humor
that isn't always immediately recognized and often leaves the simpleminded
bewildered. 
I like your site. And that's all I have to say about that right now.
*DouG* Thanks for your input on the site and also the Forrest Gump reference. It was either
"that's all I have to say about that"
or you could've gone with another classic quote....
" Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. There's, um, shrimp kebabs, shrimp creole....(change in scene)... ..shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir fried. There's pineapple shrimp and lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp...(change in scene) ....shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich... That's, that's about it."
....I prefer the prior because I am allergic to shrimp. My sister offered me a "life time supply" of shrimp once......she also pointed out that it would probably only take about one small package. I don't think she likes me.
Now that I have seen the light...ie. DouG. I still need more direction...I need a daily newsletter, or at least one a week. I can't go on by myself, I feel so lost...are you out there DouG???? Please guide me.
*DouG* Hahaha I love it. Granted, if you were an impressionable 15 year-old, than I would have to recommend a couple great therapists, but since you are not, no further action is required. I am extremely flattered that you would like to have a weekly newsletter with my humor, but the fact is that I am a little understaffed for such an act. Once I get a few freelance writers to join forces with me, then I will change the site to DouG, Inc. and I will be able to do something like that.....until then I will just try to update as frequently as I can. I always have obscure/random thoughts to update on my site, it's just a matter of making time and getting motivated. Thanks again!!
I swear the eyes follow you all over the room...thats freaking me out.....make it stop please!!!!
*DouG* It was either those eyes, or this picture:
Just be grateful I didn't combine the two and make a flying 'DouG head'......I can still do it if you prefer. Ü
You mentioned me 3 times in your replies to other people! Dude, I am so touched. The repeated references to me has made this site my favorite. More references to me can only make it better. This is even better than JamesSlusher.com because that only has my name in it once. I bought the domain thinking it would have a bunch of cool information about me, only to find out that there actually has to be some cool information for that to happen. That and someone has to be bored enough to want to write it down. Thanks for keeping me from getting that bored.
*DouG* You crack me up, James. I had to reference you multiple times because your comment was the only negative one in my guestbook. Mr. Frosst said that I scare him, but I interpreted that as a compliment, considering the source. I have seen your creative wit used on multiple occasions, so I know once you get motivated, JamesSlusher.com will be a hysterical site.....hurry up with that!!!
wow you are really creative. I really loved your site. And you are brilliant.
*DouG* Thanks Kerri. I am not really sure whether I am actually brilliant, or whether I have just completely capitalized on the 'power of suggestion' by informing of the correct spelling of the word 'brilliant' prior to being able to submit feedback about me. I will admit to being creative though....I just wish it was a much more sought after trait......."Look at the creativity on THAT guy!!" haha. I am really glad that you enjoy the site...come back often cuz I don't anticipate running out of creative things to add any time soon.
John emailed your site. LMAO!! One question, How do you and John get anything done at Shaw?
*DouG*
Thanks Richard, but who says we actually get anything done? Don't jump to
conclusions lol.
funny weird and self indulgent. fun
*DouG* For those of you that don't know, Jim Gaffigan is one of the funniest comedians in the business, so I am honored that you visited my site (even if I did solicit you to do so). Now, I can honestly say that I have never heard the term 'self indulgent' aimed at me, but thanks? The site is in fact all about me, but perhaps you didn't grasp the theme of the site.....taking shots at my appearance, motivation, social skills, etc. all for the sole purpose to give anyone who wants/needs it a reason to laugh (even at my own expense). Is it self indulgent to live vicariously through other people's laughter? In any case, keep up the great work Jim. I truly am a big fan!!
"Debo" warned me. I enjoyed your humor.
*DouG* Thank you kindly. "Debo" was commenting on my website 'mug shots' at work, so to poke a little more fun at myself, if you put your mouse over the pictures on the homepage, they will change now. By the way, your husband is an absolute pleasure to work with. He brings a smile to my face every time he walks in the door.
Hmm... seams nobody really likes your site... except: Barbie Walt Whitman and Waldo. oh and yourself (obviouly) But i have quite enjoyed it. and im only 13, its great/Briliant. only one (L)??
*DouG* Thanks Ryan. Nobody likes my
site? 
I WANT to
mention that I provided the spelling to the word 'brilliant' less than two
inches above where you submit your feedback (even on my 21" monitor), I also
WANT to mention that you have to click on the 'other people's feedback' to see
what others have typed, but I think that might be a little condescending, so I
will forgo all of that to simply say 'thanks'. Haha, just joking with you. Besides, if you didn't see
the 'other people's feedback' link before, chances are you will never be reading
this.
Doug, Your site is hilarious and original. I love it!! You should take the place of Jay Leno when dies...if he dies.
*DouG* Hey there!!! I haven't seen/heard from you an ages. I am still a little bitter that you kept beating me at 'Perfect Dark' on the Nintendo, but my psychologist said I will get over it eventually. I hope you (and your family) are doing well, and hope everyone is well adjusted to the Virginia life by now. Speaking of which, have you gone cow-tipping yet? When we were moving to Virginia from Alaska, my brother and I thought that's all people did here. hahaha. Mooooo *thump*
You are a chip off the old block!! Your Dad's sister Paula Hoover PS You have a twin MY son Paul David Hoover I will send him this site.
*DouG* Howdy howdy there. Welcome to my world, and I hope yours is treating you well. I have a picture of you right here next to my computer (it's from my parent's wedding). Yes, I do have a lot of characteristics of my father (many people say we look alike too), but I can't think of any one else I would rather be. I have a twin? That would explain all those nights I laid awake on my 'twin sized' bed wondering "what happened to my twin brother?" I have met many people in my life, but I have never met someone that was like me. If he is enough like me, maybe I can change my role model to be him, and his to me, and we can feed into each other's imaginations to concoct a scientific method to convert negative energy into a solid flour-type substance which we can then use to prepare some yummy yummy pastries which we can hand out for free door-to-door for people and make them happy.....indirectly converting negativity into happiness. Maybe it's better for the world that there are only two of us, huh?
Doug, this was quite interesting. You are a very funny guy. Keep up the good work and please don't try to date anyone!
*DouG* Haha, that is by far the best advice that I have ever received!! Where were you to give me this advice years ago?!? Besides, many woman usually list 'sense of humor' in their top 5 most desired traits for a companion....it's just those other 4 desired traits that I usually fall short on, not to mention that I have the social skills of a 5 year-old. Thanks for the feedback Angela, and don't worry about me dating......I don't think we have anything to worry about.
I must say this is a quality website...I accidentally found it while looking up pictures for a project...I found this and an odd website dedicated to Uncle Jesse from Full House...Good times, good times...
*DouG* I have racked my mind attempting to fathom what words that you searched for to bring up both Uncle Jesse and myself. Uncle Joey, maybe, but not the motorcycle riding, Elvis looking has-been that is Uncle Jesse Katsopolous. Oh geez, I think I have revealed way too much of my knowledge of the show Full House. Oops.....Err....um.....(think of something quick DouG to justify watching Full House in the past).....they use to show it in prison as a form of punishment. Yeah, between that and Blossom, it was an effective form of punishment to make even the most cold hearted killers think twice about what they have done. Thanks Lizzy.
DouG, It seems to me that your following has grown...And I am looking forward to Jay Leno dropping dead so you can take his place...And when this comes to pass, can I be the one that say's HERRRRRRE'S DouGGGGGy!!!!? Keep up the great updates, you da man.
*DouG* I would much rather you say, "DouG, you may be the next millionaire!" But seriously, why is it that at every company that I ever work for, I find people recommending that I pursue another career path. Even if it would make me rich and/or famous, it's still giving me a little bit of a complex here.
I can't really say that I have a 'following' so much as just a bunch of rubberneckers (you know you're not going to like what you see, but you have to look anyway). I am truly pleased that so many people are enjoying the site, but not everyone does. A gentleman by the name of Marcus sent me an e-mail showing his admiration for my works. I will share it with you.
Marcus's e-mail to me: "You are a wanker."
My Reply: You are a good judge of character. Most people don't recognize that until they have known me for at least a month or so. Have a good one, DouG
Actually, we've been e-mailing back and forth ever since.
hey something is seriosly wrong with you.
*DouG* 'Normal' is a relative term. Just because I live in Virginia, doesn't mean that I have to know all the Nascar driver's names/numbers and drive a pick-up truck just because it's the 'norm'. If you lived in a place where everyone shoved pencil shaving up their noses and stood on their heads, would you do the same, despite not understanding the benefits of such?
P.S. Are you still bitter that I corrected and graded your spelling/grammar of your notes at work? Cuz I noticed you spelled 'seriously' incorrectly, but I left it alone as to not offend you again.
great job
*DouG* Thank you sir! Thanks for stopping by 'my world'. As you can see, I don't care if people are laughing 'with me' or 'at me'......as long as their laughing.
Hey How are you?? Just checking to see how the rest of the Hertle family is doing? Did you hear from Paul David?? I hear your parents were in sunny Calif.
*DouG* Hello hello again. The Hertle family seems to be doing well. I heard from Paul David, and you are correct, we do have a lot in common. Namely the fact that we both slack in the whole 'responding to e-mails' department haha. Yes, my parents were in sunny California not too long ago. I wish I could've gone with them, to see my Aunt one last time and catch up with the rest of the family, but I really wasn't in a place where I could unfortunately. My family is doing well though. I hope yours is as well!!
oh boy what have i gotten myself into now...
*DouG* Something deeply disturbing, I can assure you!! I love my new Del Sol!! Once I get it cleaned up a little bit more, I will snap some pictures on add them to my website.
very entertaining site. i bookmarked it and went through every page, literally laughing my head off (you'll be glad to hear - heh heh). keep it up!
*DouG* You literally laughed your head off? That's ironic!! I am glad that you enjoyed it. Heck, I don't know if even I have been to every page on this site.....it's too much reading for my taste. I, for one, find myself somewhat boring and predictable....for example, I KNEW I was going to say that for some reason. Maybe I need a new role model!!!
I resent your country song! Stick with your donut poetry! Deanna
*DouG* Why would you find my country song offensi.......oh, that whole 'sister in my bed' line I guess. Ok, for the record, the line was also SOLELY added to incorporate true country music realism. As I mentioned before, my bed doubles as a 'second closet', thus leaving only a small sliver of room up against the wall for me to violently maneuver towards when it's time for me to go to bed. If you don't accept this rationale as a valid scapegoat, then I would like to revert back to another cliché scapegoat used by many artist.........DON'T CENSOR ME!!!!
I was looking at this "sight" at about 1220 am and I thought I would drop you a line. This is a funny site when your really tired.... email me if you want! something_corporate42@y****.com
*DouG* So, my site is ONLY entertaining when you are struggling to keep your eyes open in the light night hours? haha. I am really glad that you found it amusing in your drowsy state of being. I really started the website when I was bored one day....and since then, I just add stuff to it once in awhile. It's become a lot more than I ever would have expected. I love receiving e-mails and feedback that my strange and comedic views on the world have been able to make people laugh. I am very shy by nature, and don't really show my personality to others, but I have been able to entertained people that I never would have crossed paths with in person. It truly is one of the coolest things possible. Thanks!
Thank you for putting donuts on your poetry. Your puzzles are too easy. If you print them out I'll do them in a flash. Get those googly eyes off my keyboard.
*DouG* Haha. Yes, my poems truly are a reflection of where my heart is. I also have a very long and detailed poem dedicated to a blizzard that I thoroughly enjoyed from Dairy Queen. Life can be stressful, but there is always time to stop and enjoy all the little things that life has to offer.
Hey There , Just a fast note,your Dad is having a birthday soon. How old is dirt?? You should ask him, from his younger sister!!
*DouG* I don't know if he has read this yet, but from where I hear, he was about 6 years old when dirt was first invented.
Hey it has been over one year for your web site Happy First Birthday. We are off to Calif.the second week in Aug. Say Hi to your family
*DouG* Geez, has it been that long?! I haven't really spent much time with my site lately. I have been a little overwhelmed lately (to say the least). I use to post a response to feedback within a day or two, and this is the first time that I have taken the time since April. Wow. I hope that you enjoyed Cali. I know my parents went back there not too long ago also. So, how is everyone in Indiana?
Ey doug, gr8 site. Funny thing I found it when googling pictures on 'computernerd'.....
*DouG* Thanks. I am actually very pleased that google recognizes me as a computer nerd. I initially didn't want to be one, I just kinda got suckered in. They were having a package deal at Bestbuy that came with computer know-how, social instabilities, a speech impediment, and the Star Wars Trilogy.....and it was 10% off. I had to take it!
Long time man... uhh you added some stuff here... now uhh are you ok ? XD seems like you are very bored and have a lot of free time on your hands
*DouG* I am never ok. You should know THAT by now man (reference any page on this site). Free time? What's that?!?!
Nice Site I like the home page pictures that change. Very funny. <a href = "http://www.totaltickets.com"> Concert Tickets, Sports Tickets, Theater Tickets and more!
*DouG* Thank you. I am grateful for the feedback, but have mixed feelings about spamming my site. I am thinking of starting my own Spam Tips e-mail list whereas I will sent out hundreds of e-mails a day with tips on ways to minimize annoying e-mails. Sign up today!!
Your silly.
*DouG* There are many adjectives out there that you could have chosen from, so I am indeed grateful that you went with 'silly'.
I will not fall for your Jedi mind tricks! Hey there handsome! Love the updates. Where is the pic with you crying as a kid on the back of a truck or something. It was a riot! Write soon! Missing you, Ang
*DouG* I am not certain who this 'handsome' is you speak of....maybe you meant to type 'Hey there, hands off me', but mistyped it in a rush of desperation to get your message out ASAP. Pic of me crying as a kid? Unless you have been e-mailing my mom, I assume you mean this one:
Hmmm...Hey bro..I'm your CS buddy and pal co fragger... I'm told that I cannot swear, I cannot make "loud remarks", however...I can say that I'm proud to have crossed your path and, of course, ALWAYS tickled by the person that you are... YES ! YOU DO SCARE ME ! But the giggles I get out of this THANG outweigh my fear ! lol Happy trails brother ! Ssssssssnake
*DouG* I think that having a healthy fear of me is normal. There are not many grown men that can use the words 'tickle' and 'giggles' whilst referencing themselves, and still claim a masculine handle like 'Snake'. HAHA. Just teasing ya. I guess when you have your own pyrotechnics/special FX business, star in movies (even low budget ones), and drive a Humvee, you can can away with stuff like that. No one likes a showoff!!
as we all know, i am the judge of all things good, and i deem this good...and brilliant. maybe even borderline spectacular.
*DouG* Thanks 'bama. So how far away are we from seeing www.bamabam.com come around? Your sense of humor can definitely rival the likes of mine. Anyone who dresses up as a box of wine (that actually dispensed real wine) for Halloween has my utmost respect!
You came up on Google. Don't know you from a hole in the head. But, freakin' awesome sight.
*DouG* I find that I get paralleled to 'a hole in the head' quite often. People will mutter to me that they need me around like they need a hole in their head. There must be some kind of comparison of greatness there. Without the 'holes in your head' you wouldn't be able to see, hear, or even breath, so I interpret that as saying 'DouG, I don't know how I could possibly live without you!' Thanks for stumbling onto my site, and come back anytime!
p.s. what's an idiom?
Those stupid eyes!! GET OFF OF MY MOUSE!!! NOWW!!! ARUGHGHHHH!!
*DouG* By now, you should be use to having eyes follow you everywhere you go. Just be grateful these ones don't leave the screen.
DOUGIN IT UP KID
*DouG* Haha, I love using people's names as a substitute for adjectives or verbs.
Examples:
"Take your time when you are cutting that, otherwise you will Dave that project up."
"Are you going to just Nate all your dishes on the counter like that, or are you going to DouG them in the cabinet where they belong?"
i love your cow car. you are cowolicious. *Sha mistressbates@hotmail.com
*DouG* I am not completely sure if 'cowolicious' is a compliment or not, but either way......I would be more than happy to give your ride a $20 cow themed paint job if you would like......the offer is on the table!
Um, yeah, could you pass on a few suggestions to the naked chef? 1. Tomato sauce is cheaper than ketchup, unless you are stealing ketchup from McDonalds. If you want to keep it really economical, use a 25 cent can of tomato paste and water that down. 2. I have seen Doug do the bacon and mayo thing, and I am certain that is why he doesn't have a cooking show on cable t.v. 3. Is the cooking naked thing supposed to reflect the poor chef image or is it intended to prevent guests from eating your food?
*DouG* I will let Fletch answer for himself, but as far as the bacon/mayo thing......ONE TIME I did that. One time! My intention was to make a BLT sandwich, but after I started cooking the bacon, I noticed that the lettuce had begun to wilt, the bread wasn't exactly freshly baked out of the oven, and I just plain don't like tomatoes....so I made a snack with the survivors....does that make me a bad person?!?
*Fletch*
1. Excellent
suggestion for saving of money, but the article was also written for the
"motivation-to-go-to-the-store impaired" which this advice may not help.
2. Congratulations, you got the punch line of this joke!!!
3. I really didn't intend to make this a parody of "The Naked Chef" but I
respect your observational skills and your wit. Like Doug, I am limited to the
pictures that I have on my computer or picture-phone. That particular pic was
candid, I used it because that is what I had at hand, and yes I was wearing
pants!!! Also, I would not invite guests over to eat any of those
recipes...except for maybe the meat one.
Hello DouG! Fear not, I have been persecuted by my boss's boss for eating butter and parmesan alone. What could I have done? The server did not bring enough bread. Was I to starve to death!?!?! I seem to remember an Ode to Donut in my high school years. Was that the same poem, or just an earlier work? I saw Minnie Driver on the Ellen Degeneres show say that she's made "donut smoothies" before. Pour eight ounces of milk along with one donut. Blend. Chewing not required. Creamy sweet goodness for the lazy. By the way, I was lucky enough in high school to have DouG pass me DouGism notes between classes. Thank you for saving me from insanity during that time!!! I still remember pondering in Chorus class why a driveway isn't called a parkway...
*DouG* What a pleasant surprise! There were actually two reasons I started the site: 1) I am an extremely shy person with the social skills of an eggplant, but I also love making people laugh, so.... I had to find a way to share my humor without having to make people decipher my incoherent babble. 2) I know I personally have done google searches for old friends, but I haven't had too much luck. Not that there is a long list of people looking, but I wanted people to be able to find me if they really wanted.
As far as the doughnut poem, you may have seen that one before. I have written so many through the years, it's hard to keep track of them all. I didn't share all my doughnut poems with you for personal reasons. I remember Robb and I use to come visit you at work all the time, and since you HAPPEN to work in the bakery at Giant, I didn't want you thinking I was just there for the pastries. On that note, sorry about making you work all that overtime restocking all the shelves after I left.
Hi, I came to your site through your Ben and Jerry ice-cream lock post (from a blog, can't remember which and I'm too lazy to look it up) and I decided to read the other posts as well. You're a funny guy and you made me laugh out loud (LOL). Keep up the good work. And, why don't you have a blog? If you do, please tell us about it.
*DouG* Thanks Percy. Actually, I have seen my site popping up everywhere, thanks to the pintlock. I didn't imagine that anyone was going to take me seriously. Honestly, I just wanted to send them a funny letter that they can pass around the office and all get a good laugh at.
No, I don't have a blog, and that it probably a good thing. Every post would say 'sorry I haven't updated in so long ___________(enter random excuse for being so busy *cough*lazy*cough*)".
Brilliant!! Honestly, your site made me laugh and I don't laugh that often. Even less often do I visit "personal" web sites but for some reason, your site kept me interested. I'm a techie type and I don't drift off into mindless (Please don't be offended, I mean this in a positive way) stuff. A lot of computer people are up tight I'm no exception, but your site gave me a pleasant departure from the mundane. Keep on doing what you're doing --- "I'll be back".
*DouG* I know the feeling. The internet has giving so many people a worldwide voice, and seemingly most people want to use that platform to give their thoughts on music/movies, trashing others, or posting their opinions as facts....it gets a bit monotonous. I am very pleased that you found my site amusing, and please come back....I promise I will add more shortly!
Ok, the back medicine on the bottom shelf.. I feel your pain dude.. I went to the Dr. because I was having problems swallowing without pain ~ I spent weeks gulping water, as I felt a constant need to flush out the avocado pitt that seemed to be stuck in my throat. In addition, any time I tried to lie down, I felt like everything that went down in the last 24 hours was going to come right back up. The Dr.'s plan of attack?? Drink this barrium (ok, did someone hear me say that I can't seem to swallow water without excruciating pain??) then, something that looked (and tasted and acted) like poprocks.. now my favorite part; lie down on a hard examination/xray table and lets take some pictures... We can put a man on the moon, but can't find a way to find obstructions in the digestive pathway without creating one??? Anyway... Loved the site... kt
*DouG* LOL. That is funny, thanks for sharing. Those sadistic Doctors! I am actually suppose to do this stand-up comedy thing next month (if I don't chicken out or just plain don't feel like standing up), and I have been working on a little segment devoted to this subject. Chances are, I will get tongue-tied, wet my pants, and run off the stage and just come home and add my jokes to my website. We'll see.
In your amusing essay about wanting to be a redneck, is that, in fact, a childhood picture of you? And if so, are you wearing Deanna's sandals? Doug, I don't know you at all, but I must tell you that there should be more people like you in the world. It would be a better place, don't you agree? Thank you for spending your free time to create this website. It is quite enjoyable and I'm going to share it with my brother.
*DouG* More people in the world like me? That makes my heart smile, you just made my day! Thanks. On a sadder note, yes, that is a childhood picture of me, and yes, those are in fact my sandals. Actually, there is nothing about that picture that I am proud of. From the cowboy hat, to the cut-off shorts, the bowl cut hair, the dirty legs, and how many 4 year old kids do you know with a beer belly?!? Many people bow their head at pictures like this, I post them for the world to see. If life hands you lemons, learn to juggle.
Your friend Kristy told me about your site on the Mark. forums. I really like your site! My favorite part is the I want to be a redneck. Keep it up, I'll probably visit when I am bored.
*DouG* Thanks for taking the time to visit my site...personally, my favorite part is this guestbook. As long as no one views my 'I want to be a redneck' portion as a tutorial, it's all in good fun. Once I start getting specific questions about how pointy cowboys boots are suppose to be, and how big is TOO BIG when purchasing a belt buckle, then I will have to start rephrasing some of my works.
!IH Your site was the perfect way to speed through a Monday morning. Seriously, I spent a whole morning AT WORK laughing - unheard of!
*DouG* !OLLEH If I helped ONE person get through the 'Monday blues', then my work here is done. I am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed the site, so come back some time, and share it with your friends and co-workers.....except your boss (you might have some explaining to do if he/she saw this comment).
Hi DouG, I didn't laugh out loud like some who have posted to the guestbook, but I did do a serious amount of snickering. Please do me a favour and sign the guestbook at my site: http://piffleco.com (insert evil laugh here) Seriously insane fun. Thanks!
*DouG* Glad you could stop by. I checked out your site, and I especially liked 'Right Tighty' (http://piffleco.com/html/older_rants.htm at the top). That actually reminded me of another page I was going to add to this site, but forgot about. Hopefully I will be adding that page shortly, but in the meantime, thanks for jumpstarting my brain.
I love you website it. Honestly it gives me a break from my job, every day...ok so I really don't work hard and usually just have this up on my PC flipping back and forth from that to my photoshop as my boss walks by. Thanks for the laughs! Updates would be great! Tabs
*DouG* Haha, I have to toggle FROM Photoshop when my boss walks by. Photoshop is great, isn't it? I am almost convinced the Photoshop was originally created by someone that just got out of a nasty relationship, or someone that had a crazy uncle that they didn't want showing in their family Christmas card (my nieces can relate). I have some updates planned, I just have to find time to get them done.
p.s. Thanks for the picture.
Speaking of photoshop....... lol, I haven't done anything to it........yet.
this is the worst site ever
*DouG* Seriously, you have my cell phone number, Mom, why didn't you just call me and talk to me in person?!? On second thought, I am reasonably confident that my mother is educated enough to use capitalization and punctuation, and even spell 'momma' correctly (yes, even jargon has correct methods of spelling). No, something doesn't feel right about this at all. If this isn't really my mom, why would the Museum Of Modern Art (MOMA) be criticizing my site?
As always, I had a great laugh over your site. However, I will NOT donate to the vascectomy fund! You need to be fruitful and multiply. What the world needs are more Dougy's running about!
*DouG* Hahaha. Thanks, but that's the LAST thing this world needs.....lots of little DouG's running around. If you had known me as a kid, I think you would be retracting that last statement, cuz I was quite the handful. Besides, I have an agreement with the Virginia Dept. of Corrections.....they send me a check for $300 every year, as long as I don't have kids.
I love your site and I am now just so jealous of your life. You are my hero! I only wish I had the computer skills you have. I had to laugh out loud several times on this site. I hope you know I'm laughing with you.
*DouG* Laughing with me, or at me, it's all the same to me. I appreciate your comments, but if I truly had 'a life', I doubt there would be this much content on my website. Don't be jealous, I make an effort to find the good in all situations, you can teach yourself to do the same. Ü
Dougie Doug, Long time no see!!! Well I reckon you see me with these crazy eyes following me all over the page....stop that!! no you stop that!!! hehehe I love this site. Guess what time it is, that's right Christmas time is around the corner and you know what that means....Me and Dougie Doug going shopping hyped up on Starbucks coffee. We miss seeing you in Richmond. Come visit!!! Peace and chicken grease...hehehehe Your ol' pal, Brook
*DouG* Yes, I accept your offer of getting coffee buzzed from Starbucks, going Christmas shopping, and laughing until we forget why we were laughing in the first place. You just name the time and place!
Hilarious!!!! brother. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. The cow car was my favorite, but the eyes on my arrow was the icing on the cake, my loudest guffaw! See you at the conference hopefully. I look forward to meeting you in person.
*DouG* Howdy howdy. I am glad that you enjoyed my realm. I think that it would be a lot of fun doing my stand-up bit again, so hopefully I will make it down there next year. Besides, it would be a whole new audience, so I could just regurgitate the same old jokes that I used last time, and no one would know the difference!
Hey How are you?? Your Mom sent me the e/mail, about the ice cream lock. Good Job. Sorry to miss you in Cal. Did you have a good time????
*DouG* I had a blast out in California. It's was such a blessing seeing family again. We went to the bigfoot museum while we were there, despite my suggestions. I was afraid someone would yell, "there he is" and bop me on the head with a large blunt object and drag me to the taxidermist.
Hello again! I have in my possession....An ice cream lock that was brought back from Vermont. I didn't get to go...They probably would have had to roll me out of the Ben & Jerry's touring facility. It's a good thing, I really should never be let in their doors, who knows what mayhem might ensue...But back to the lock. Dan and I will treasure it forever and ever. Luckily, Dan sticks to plain old vanilla. I knew there was a reason I married him. No B&J competition. I think I will save it for when we have children. You know high fat ice cream is not good for growing children...I will have to lock it up. Yeah, that's it...
*DouG* Hehe, you should have told me, I would have hooked you up with one. Ben & Jerry's was kind enough to send me a bunch of them as a gift. Some people might deem it shallow to marry someone based on their taste in ice cream, but I COMPLETELY agree with you! You don't know how many times I have almost proposed to the cute girl from Dairy Queen solely to use her for her employee discount.
Nice site.
*DouG* Thanks. You really didn't give me a whole lot of material to reply toward.
Name: Amy Malm
Remote User:
Date: Friday, March 10, 2006
Hey Doug! This is Amy, Deanna's High School friend. Great site. I guess I have an uneventfull life because I ended up on this site for hours. I have written to hopefully clear up a little misperception on your part though. I see that you have attempted to make fun of my type :) bein a red-neck woman living in cowboy country. You've got the two in the same category... cowboys aren't red-necks though. See, cowboys wear tight Wranglers. Cowboys are hard working, friendly, funny and tougher than tough. My husband strives to be one. Red-necks get their jeans from the second-hand store. They must have holes in them and almost fall off their hips, so as to show off their hairy butt crack when they bend over. The two are almost completely opposite, you know. Mike (hubby) told me I should write to tell you these things. I hope this clears things up a little for you. Glad to be of some help :) Amy
*DouG* Haha, thanks for the clarification. My sister had a few friends named Amy growing up (I think that they were cheaper in a 'three pack'), but I don't recognize you by that last name (for that I apologize, if I know you).
Maybe things in Virginia are a bit different than further down south. There may have been a time when Wranglers were a highly sought after jean, but right now they are quite simply the nicest jeans that Wal-Mart has to offer. So for the people shopping for clothes at Wal-Mart (predominantly a Redneckish group), but don't want the generic brand, they opt for the 'upper scale' Wranglers.
I guess that goes to show that everyone makes strong generalizations based on a much small group. I know this for a fact, because I do the same thing (I have a feeling that joke will go unnoticed by many)
Name: insightful
Remote User:
Date: Friday, March 31, 2006
funny, enjoyed your blog about LITERALLY -
*DouG* Thanks. Since I wrote that page, I heard a comedian covering the same topic. I literally looked at the publication date of my page and his CD (his was actually first), so it was just extremely ironic....don't you think?
Name: John Hall
Remote User:
Date: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Ya right, just checking in, hope you are doing ok. I hope all is well. JH
*DouG* Hello hello. I hope all is going well out in sunny California too. It was great to see you this past summer, and hopefully I will get the chance to come back to your side of the country again soon. I can't wait to see little Laurel Brown, Serena and Larry must be SO proud!
Name: Glenda
Remote User:
Date: Monday, April 10, 2006
I literally stumbled on your site looking for 1979 Volkswagens. I did get a few laughs out of me. Thank God not everyone takes life so serious. Keep up the good work my man.
*DouG* I never really had the option to take life seriously, so it worked out great for me to have a sense of humor. So much of my life feels like it was stolen from some writer's twisted imagination, so it was either laugh at it all, or take it to heart, so I chose the first option.
Name: Mike H
Remote User:
Date: Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Your site, and by default, you, are a hoot! Keep 'em comin, D.D.
*DouG* Thanks man. I have been slacking on the updates lately, but I will have plenty more here shortly (after May 13), so scurry back if you get the chance.
Name: Carissa
Remote User:
Date: Saturday, 13. May 2006
Time: 10:20 PM
I thought you did a great job at Ladies Night at Grace and wanted to follow up on your website. I think you're hilarious. It's a good thing to be able to laugh at yourself. Although, I don't think you have as much to laugh at as you think.
*DouG* Thanks for the kind words, I am really glad to hear that you enjoyed it! I am always so nervous about doing things like that, and when I get up there my hands are shaking like crazy. I almost want to bring a can of paint with me on stage and keep it in my hand, and by the end of the night the paint will be thoroughly mixed. I like to find humor in almost any situation, but since there is so much that can be taken the wrong way, I tend to mostly talk about situation or events that involve my own personal life. I don't want to offend anyone, but I know I am joking, so making fun of myself is fair game! Thanks again!
Name: Paula
Hertle Hoover
Remote User:
Date: Sunday, 21. May 2006
Time: 02:57 PM
Hey!! Thanks for the updates. Good job with the new additions. You do make me laugh, and I think about your Dad. Say Hi to your Mom and Dad , hope they are fine.
*DouG* Thanks you. My parents are doing well, both keeping themselves busy as usual. I have been compared to a lot of things in my day (mostly unkind), but comparing me to my Dad, I take that as a compliment!
Name: Donna Nardi
- Your California Cousin
Remote User:
Date: Wednesday, 31. May 2006
Time: 10:23 AM
Hi Doug! Thought I'd share a "potpourri" story with you. I was holding a house open with another Realtor, and they had this good-smelling stuff simmering on the stove. I thought it was a fancy tea, and drank a cup. I told the other Realtor how bitter it was, but thought it was "good for me", and she began laughing, "That's potpourri!" Boy, did I feel stupid, AND got a Roto-Rooter cleaning!
*DouG* That is hilarious!! Thanks for sharing! That would be funny, you accidentally burp, and the room suddenly smells like freshly picked flowers. This maybe something that you can market (but might I recommend dosage in the form of a pill)!
Name: StEricSonic
Remote User:
Date: Friday, 02. June 2006
Time: 02:49 AM
Nothing special but not so bad. Yours StEricSonic
*DouG* Thanks . It's funny, because that's exactly how I introduce myself to single ladies. "Hi, I am DouG. Nothing special, but not so bad." You certainly have a profitable career ahead of you creating greeting card slogans. Best Wishes.
Name: Lisa
Remote User:
Date: Wednesday, 28. June 2006
Time: 08:15 AM
Hi! My name is Lisa. I like to spend my time meeting with different people. That's why I'm here :)) plz mail me ;)) have a nice day!
*DouG* Hey Lisa. Thanks for stopping by. If you are in Brazil, I don't see us actually 'meeting' anytime soon, but feel free to e-mail me. I have the guestbook set up that you can't include an e-mail address (spam protection), but if you want, my e-mail address is on my homepage. Have a great day!
Name: F--
Date: Tuesday, 11. July 2006
Time: 02:16 PM
D-- Sometimes when I go camping I buy bottled water, but I'm cheap so I purchase the store brand gallon size for 89 cents a pop. I happened to be taking a drink today and realized that my water has an expiration date stamped on it. Now, being that I base all of my decisions on internet searches AND that since you have a brief blurb about water on your site, you must be an expert, I have a question for you: How can I responsibly dispose of my water once it has expired? I would not want to haphazardly pour it down the drain, or into my back yard thus potentially contaminating our pure rivers, streams and oceans. Until I receive a response from you, I will safely store this befouled water in a lead container at my childcare facility. --F
PS There are no precautions on this bottle directing me what to do if I have accidentally consumed some of this dated water. I assume that this is illegal in the US, yet do not know who to contact for attention. Please help me!
*DouG* Haha, excellent question, my friend. There is really only one effective way to neutralize this contaminated water using readily available resources. One of the strongest filters that we have access to for breaking down complex molecules into simple structures via chemical reaction is our immune system. You could just drink that water, but you also don't want those chemicals to harm your body, so you must use something to help expedite the process of dehydration, like alcohol. If it were me, I would do somewhat of a role reversal from 'taking shots' of alcohol. Instead of following that shot of Bacardi 151 with a shot of water, do the opposite. Consume the whole gallon of water, shot by shot, followed be a gallon of 151 taken in the same intervals. Will your body accept the expired water? Maybe....maybe not.....it will be hard to tell when you are passed out on the floor of your living room. In an effort to help protect all the innocent children in the world, I will even offer my services to help you in the process of cleansing the hazardous material. Hey, it's for the kids!
Name: Josh
Date: Tuesday, 25. July 2006
Time: 12:23 PM
I have a friend name Dougy Doug and he wanted to buy dougydoug.com and found out it was taken so we checked out your site. Very nice. I love the Roomba story and the story about the girl who thought Alaska was another country. I hope your various lawsuits work out. Josh parksj1(at)gmail.com
*DouG* It's funny how we end up stumbling across things like this. I remember many years ago typing in www.Doug.com, and the site was actually quite amusing. Since then, it's been bought out and used for someone's campaign....not quite worth checking out anymore. Hopefully you find another URL that he is content with, and pass on the link to me. I would happy to check it out once he's done. Looks like dougydoug.net might be an available domain.
Name: someone
Date: Friday, 04. August 2006
Time: 03:21 PM
Did you move to Alaska when you were really young? I think I may know your sister, Deanna. Did you ever liv ein Washington?
*DouG* Hello there. Yes, we moved from Washington to Alaska when I was about 5...making her about 9 years old. That is awesome that you remember Deanna after all these years. If you want to check out her blog (here) or I can pass an e-mail along to her if you are interested. Just use my e-mail address on the homepage of my site.
Name: Elli
Date: Saturday, 26. August 2006
Time: 10:53 PM
Ok, I just can't leave without saying how much I've enjoyed your site. You've got a great outlook on life. I like how you can just roll with the punches. The funny thing is that I, like a few of the others who have posted feedback, stumbled upon your site by accident. I was searching the definition of "literally". Ironic, isn't it? Thanks for the laughs...I even enjoyed messing with the googly eyes, they're just too darn fast!
*DouG* Hey Elli. Thanks for taken the time to post your thoughts up, I personally appreciate that. In my years, I have learned that the more I attempt to control what happens in my life, the more apt it is to blow up in my face......I learned early not to take life too seriously. We all have embarrassingly funny things happen to us, might as well learn to embrace them and laugh about it. Thanks again for stopping by, and I love hearing how people end up here.....it's usually quite amusing. Take care.
Name: Phil
Remote User:
Date: Wednesday, 13. September 2006
Time: 03:21 AM
Briliant site Thanks for reminding me of the virtues of bachelor life.
*DouG* Haha, thanks Phil. It's amusing to see what topic points bring people to my site. I find that the bachelor page is a big one for some reason. I have had people earnestly looking for ways to cope with such, and came across my thoughts on the matter. Granted, I am no counselor (you aren't a doctor by chance, are you?), but if I can help give someone a reason to laugh, then I feel like I did my part. The fact is, at any point in ones life there are several reason to mourn and several reasons to rejoice, depending on which way one turns their head.
Name: Asif
Remote User:
Date: Monday, 30. October 2006
Time: 03:40 PM
Hi I am Asif from Bangladesh. I googled for a paragraph assignment "your role model" and your website came in 2nd page in google. I really liked your website. I liked your views of life. I couldn't finish looking at all the pages. Sorry for my English. It's 4.30 a.m. here and I think I should go to sleep now. Hope to visit your site after I wake up. (pssst......I copied the paragraph)
*DouG* Hi Asif. The internet has really made this world a much smaller place. I am coming in contact with people that I never would have crossed paths with without it, which is a lot of fun. I am delighted that I was able to help you with your project, but for your sake I am hoping that you teacher doesn't also have google, as they might stumble across my site as well. In the future, if you run across an idea that you really like, just reword and rephrase it to make it yours, and you shouldn't have any problems...or, you can also e-mail me for ideas, I am always happy to help. Oh, and no need to apologize for your English, you did very well. I cleaned it up a bit, but nothing major. Let me know how your assignment goes!
Name: brilliant_one
Remote User:
Date: Tuesday, 14. November 2006
Time: 08:22 PM
the eyes! aah they are scary! Awesome page though
*DouG* Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Those eyes are rather intimidating, aren't they? Watching every single move that you make, it really reminds me of a place I use to work at.
Name: Prashant Dev
Remote User:
Date: Tuesday, 21. November 2006
Time: 02:35 AM
Seems like a rebel inside you!!!!!!!!!!! Good Man...............
*DouG* Haha, rebel? Perhaps on some level. I wanted to go out and buy a Harley Davidson, but this website was SO much cheaper!
Name: tOnA
Date: Friday, 01. December 2006
Time: 07:21 AM
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm david told me to go to this site...and not to look at his family picture of him when he was 3. UH MUH GAWD. Dave used to be little
*DouG* Dave is still little....comparatively speaking that is. You just have to put him in the right environment. Put him in the middle of the Grand Canyon, or on top of Mount Everest and is it quite petit. Compared to other people....um, well, he likes to eat. I don't think I am sharing anything that isn't public knowledge here.
Name: Angie Lackey
Date: Tuesday, 05. December 2006
Time: 04:24 PM
I think the site is as creative and hilarious as its creator. I had the pleasure of seeing your stand up comedy act recently and I must say I was not the only one rolling over in the floor laughing. You are and have always been the wittiest person I know. It was great meeting your family and friends. Your sister is awesome!!! As a matter of fact, your whole family is amazing. Thanks for a great time and tons of good laughter. Your devoted friend always, Ang
*DouG* Aww, that's really too kind. Thanks for your warm words, and friendship that has prevailed through so much. I am really glad that you were able to come see my do my stand-up act. Everytime I do it, I think it's quite possibly the last time, and yet I keep finding my oversized feet leading me out on that cold empty stage. Hopefully I will have clips that that most recent event on my site shortly. I am glad that you were able to meet my family, and even more grateful that they didn't try to sneak a wedding ring of your finger (they have those tendencies sometimes).
Name: lover linda
Date: Tuesday, 05. December 2006
Time: 05:57 PM
bad a**, wishing for love. you are my desire, yes, i am as you will always be. with you i see my destiny, as you wish, i am there, i will be at jds in port on this very.
*DouG* Did you just write me a poem or is that paying homage for your love of doughnuts as well? The last night has me puzzled, unless JD's is a doughnut shop that I have yet to visit (could it be possible that such a place exists?). I have received all kinds of feedback on my site, but that has got to be the first poem that I have received. Thanks for bringing a new layer to this page.
Name: kk
Date: Saturday, 09. December 2006
Time: 05:49 AM
You should make a comedy site or something
*DouG* I thought this was....um.....yeah, I should
work on that. That would be quite a change of pace from the highly
controversial political platform that is DouGYDouG.com.
Name: Massive Big Dog
Date: Friday, 15. December 2006
Time: 08:48 AM
DouG- It has been some time since I have been to your page. For months now I have felt like something was missing in my life, but I could not quite figure out what it was...Now it is so clear...DouGyDouG.com was the void I had missing in my life. I will not again make that mistake, I make this pledge to you and all that laugh here...As God as my witness, I shall never go without laughter again...Keep up the great work, and remember you are making a difference in peoples lives...(some for the better and...well you know what I mean)
*DouG* Haha, thanks for returning the joy of laughter. That means so much more coming from you. That could also be interpreted as a personal compliment, and if that's how you translate what I am saying, please, by all means, embrace that. But in actuality, I know how bottlenecked your connection speeds are *cough* 14kbps *cough*, so viewing each page of my site realistically could be a 45 minute investment of your time, so that alone is quite a complement.
Name: bobby jackson
Date: Saturday, 16. December 2006
Time: 04:05 PM
i thought i could let everyone know that DouG now works in the office with me and shannon he really isn't as weird as some people think and that makes him one of a kind. keep up the great work pal.
*DouG* Thanks Bobby. You're right, I haven't updated my job page in quite some time. It's true, my job isn't to drive a forklift/polelift anymore, and have been working in the office for almost 3 years now. I really should take some time to revamp that page, but I am not certain how funny I could make it.....without going into details about my co-workers that might be deemed as borderline offensive and easily found via a google search.
Name: EvilAsh
Date: Tuesday, 26. December 2006
Time: 06:50 PM
Lol.... this site it great.... especially for those of us with ADHD, though not the ones with HD (bastards) ok that was a bad attempt at wit.. i fail... i dig the site... and the wiggly eyes....have a great day doll face. btw, water and electronics DO NOT MIX!!!!! though a water coolant system looks cool, they leak and may fry your system.... just stating the obvious, bc it is a beautiful computer
*DouG* How could someone going by the name 'Evil Ash' share such kind words? I do have to admit that you are the first person that has ever called my 'doll face', and that made me smile. What kind of ugly dolls did you have growing up haha? Although the thought of having a DouGY DouG doll it's rather amusing to me, I don't think it will be the next highly sought after Christmas buy. It would however look a bit less creepy next to Barbie in this picture. As far as the water cooled PC....if a hose did burst, or a seal started leaking, that would just give me a reason to upgrade the PC. Computer dorks are always searching for a reason to justify the extra expenses of upgrading. Thanks for stopping by!
Name: Kyle
Date: Thursday, 11. January 2007
Time: 10:02 PM
well your site is great i love it, it reminds me of maddox's website only yours is funnier and I can show it to younger people
*DouG* Thank you. I do try to keep my site clean. I have two little nieces, and don't ever want to post anything that I don't want their little eyes to see. I have been to Maddox's site, and one thing that he certainly has me beat on, I don't have a fine selection of custom t-shirts that people can order. That would actually be rather entertaining if I did. I am not sure if I will, as I would feel dreadful knowing that the only one purchasing the shirts is me.
Name: Jacob
Date: Thursday, 25. January 2007
Time: 05:13 AM
haha brilliant indeed
*DouG* Thanks Jacob. Really, I appreciate every single comment that is posted on my guestbook (well....almost every comment, there have been a couple of hateful ones that I conveniently 'lost'), but these short ones don't give me a lot to comment on.
Name: Kaci
Date: Tuesday, 06. February 2007
Time: 11:55 AM
Ok well I think your site is absolutely stupid!!! But it is halarious!! Good job!!! Haha
*DouG* Thank you? Sending me mixed signals there, but I will take them. Might I recommend a method called the good news/bad news/good news sandwich. It's a method of giving someone negative feedback in a non-threatening sort of way. Here is an example:
Hey DouG. I really like your site. I found myself laughing out loud, mostly at your expense. It's great that you are able to look at what little you have, making the most of it, and bringing joy to the faces of others.
Name: amit dongre
Date: Friday, 23. February 2007
Time: 10:43 AM
the simple one liners are the best in the site... i like the 404 error and license plate a lot. ur various moods are awesome
*DouG* Thank Amit, one liners are my favorite in person, as I can blurt them out and then quickly leave the room full of laughter, and I find that I can get a lot more accomplished with my one liners when I use run-on sentences, much like this one, as I just keep using commas instead of bringing closure to the sentence, and I can just keep typing like this all day, even though I am driving any English teachers who may be reading this insane right about now, but that's ok, I am fine with that,
Name: Basement Bob
Date: Tuesday, 06. March 2007
Time: 03:47 AM
Cool Site
*DouG* I bet there is a funny story behind your name. Care to share? Basements are the way to go, if you are a guy. No frills, just the necessities. Besides, when it's time for spring cleaning, you just put all your clothes on the bed, cover the bed up with a tarp, and take the garden hose to the whole room. How easy is that?
Name: Tabatha
Date: Wednesday, 21. March 2007
Time: 03:45 PM
It is good to see some newer stuff...seriously. :)
*DouG* Thanks Tabatha, and it's good to see you have returned after a year and half to visit. I really do have a lot more that I could add to the site, but I have been diagnosed with a chronic case of the lazies. The doctor prescribed me two shots of espresso and told me to call him in the morning, so I did......3:00 a.m. in the morning, as I was still awake. During that call, he then prescribed something else that I can't repeat on this website, as it was rather rude. I wish I had better insurance, as the only HMOs that are covered with my plan are Dr. Kevorkian and Dr. Dre.
Name: Kendra Westphalen
Date: Friday, 23. March 2007
Time: 10:32 AM
Hey there! Funny stuff. You are a great writer, very entertaining. Loved reading your stuff. ooh by the way - Tabs sent me! -bye for now-kidd
*DouG* Thanks Kendra. Tabatha and I have a referral bonus program thing going on, so she is sending all her friends to my site. For every 15 people that she sends to my site, I send her 15 'sorry for spamming you' Hallmark cards for her to distribute (they make those, don't they?). I am glad that you enjoyed yourself, and I should be adding more to the site in the summer of 2012, so don't forget to stop back by! Ü